Breaking Bad Afghan Update!

It's been a couple weeks since I posted about the afghan. I am chugging along on it. A little over halfway done. I just realized yesterday that I hadn't done an extra chain between my squares, (oopsy). But I don't mind. I like my granny square afghans a little bit tighter. So we will see how much extra/how much I come up short, at the end of the project and access how to do the next one, since I promised a few of them!
Can you tell how it's coming?

I am hoping to finish the project this week so I can bring it along for the viewing of American Werewolf in London this Saturday at Cinespia. I am very excited because Werewolf Ale will be there, along with Mr Frodo Baggins. It's my quest to track him down and sneak into the DJ booth so I can ask him to sign my LOTR tattoo and have it inked on there permanently! What a dream that would be! There are still tickets left if you guys are interested!

Reflection

I haven't had time to reflect on having this blog running for a year, (yay 1 year anniversary!) because of personal family emergencies over the last few weeks. September was not been an easy month for me, or many of my family members. But it was full of more personal growth and insight than possibly the entire year so far. I had some great fantasies when I started this blog about doing it every day of the week, and taking the weekends off, but after a few weeks it became clear my life was far too busy and hectic to continue at that pace, but at the same time I learned that people cared about it, and read it, and missed the posts when they weren't there, so I vowed to myself to keep it up, but only at my own pace, waiting for inspiration instead of forcing ideas, to ensure I am only posting valuable things for you.

In the coming month I hope to share with you some posts on my favorite season (autumn) and my favorite holiday (Halloween!) I have some ideas brewing for short stories, costumes and movie suggestions for the month. (My favorite candy is Mounds, my favorite scary movie is Cabin in the Wood, and the key to a good Halloween party is fabulously spooky food.)

I just want to remind folks in the Los Angeles area that the El Capitan does 3-D showings of Nightmare Before Christmas all month, and if you haven't seen it in 3-D yet do yourself a favor, don your Sally patchwork dress, or Jack Skellington whites and head out there for it.

YA- Y NOT?

Warning: Contains ME! Confessing in all my glory and humility.
I don't recall having explained to you, readers, why I have such an affinity for YA literature. And I think it is time, if I am going to continue to recommend and discuss books with you.

My childhood ended when I was 11 years old and my mother died. I am not stating this for sympathy, merely to set our story. I took on the task of preparing my little sister and I for school in the mornings, allowing my dad, who went to work at ungodly hours (i.e. any time before the sun comes up) to have some peace of mind about leaving us alone. (This was in age long ago -20 years- when people understood that giving children responsibilities isn't some horrific form of torture, or ruining the end of childhood, (I am looking at you parents who won't let your precious Duddykins have jobs as a teenager, thus ensuring whiny college student syndrome) but a natural progression into adulthood.

Being entrusted with this kind of responsibility as a teenager turned into a sacred bond between my sister, dad and I. He TRUSTED us. And in turn we tried to be worthy of that trust. Both of us, me especially, kept to ourselves and did not engage in the reckless, explorative activities of our peers. My weekdays and weekends were filled with drama club, poetry club, 3 part time jobs, and my nights were filled with hours of television and writing. (I confess, I wrote more often than that, filling notebooks with fan fiction as teachers attempted to pass knowledge onto myself and my classmates. One teacher even got furious enough to take away my notebook for the remainder of the class. -I had more paper) I still got decent grades, A's & B's, only C's with Mr Burke, my horrible but good natured math teacher of years 9, 10, 11. (They failed to realize I didn't work well with that teacher, rather they just assumed I wasn't very good at math. Ahh, public schools.) Hours of Buffy, Roswell, X-Files. I was an insomniac sci-fi junkie. My close friends lived in other parts of the world. I was a part of the burgeoning internet generation, a giant in the world of Buffy Fan fiction. People KNEW me. (I even met a fan who ended up at the same college as me! Imagine that!) And as such, my dad didn't know enough to question me, or (thought I was smart enough to let me) went to visit an internet friend in DC while we were on a family vacation. (A few metro train rides away from where we were staying.) I did not get kidnapped or raped. I met a very nice girl with dreadlocks who went to a hippie art school. This was the epitome of my sixteen year old adventuring.
(Here is a photo of me at 16, visiting my aunt in Minnesota. On the Right is a friend I met through a Hanson chat room.)

But before I lose you down memory lane I will attempt to get back to the story. Emotionally, during those years, I shut down. I ran on autopilot. I lived in my stories so I could be a rock in the real world. I could be relied upon to take care of things. I could not connect to my peers who lived in a world where they dated, partied in the quarry, even drank and smoked pot! I felt so other from them and the characters on my shows and in the books I read. Even the Baby Sitter's Club girls got around more than me! (This all changed in college. I ran the gambit of trying things, although mostly reasonable things. (Tattoos! Kissing boys! Falling in love for the first time.) Nothing so wild as my television shows depicted. I am sorry to tell you I have no stories of cocaine filled nights in NYC. But something was still missing.

No matter how much I had come out of my shell I was still locked away, partially. It has taken close to a decade, the love of a good man, friends who do not judge, and a little YA heroine you might have heard of, by the name of Katniss Everdeen, to understand and break down the barriers I had put up over 20 years ago.

YA fiction lets me live my high school years in ways I was afraid to, in ways I coveted. I vicariously make stupid mistakes with these peers. From Harry Potter, to Tris, to Lyra, to Katniss, I get to try again, find new paths, to find comfort. Many of these characters feel alone and have lost a parent, sometimes two, and as a result I feel closer to them, than my peers, who used to stare, owllike at me, as if they could glean why I was chosen by the universe to lose a parent, and if it was contagious.

And that, my readers, is why I choose to live, half grown, in a world of possibilities, with the pain of first love and loss close to my heart. I don't know any other way.

Breaking Bad Crochet-A-Long

So it's been awhile since I have posted anything crafting related, mostly because I want to keep the wedding craft gifts a surprise for those who win them. But I am starting a new project that I would like to share with you readers and it is going to be a Breaking Bad Granny Square Afghan. It will be based on the one constantly featured on the back of the White's couch on the show (which Josh is insisting I watch, currently.) Much of my excitement about the show is being able to reproduce crafts from it, a la Firefly. (Long live the Jayne Hat!)

So to begin, I found this nice website:Breaking Bad Inspired Afghan. Then, I purchased the amount of yarn required in the right colors, something I hardly ever do. Look at me growing up and planning a project in advance! Check out all this yarn!
Tonight I am going to begin working the first color (pumpkin) and I will be updating you with pictures and I can answer any questions for any one else who want sot participate.

DIRTY 30!

This post is a meditation on turning 30 in less than a week. The big 3-0. An arbitrary number that has come to mean so much as a marker of how people view their lives, and achievements. I have vacillated between being joyous and upset at the rapid feeling passage of time.

10 Things I have Learned in 30 years

1. Most places I go out to (the movies, bars, theaters, restaurants) it's too dark to see grey hairs so why care as much? And makeup: the more you wear, the more you will have to wear. Good moisturizer and less sun is key in my beauty regime. I want my lovers to be hot for me without makeup so when I wear it it is an added bonus. I don't want to be someone who scares people who are used to seeing them with makeup, when I take it off.

2. Floss for goodness's sake. Cavities are expensive to take care of, floss is cheap.
3. You know more about your body than most doctors. Trust that. Fight for it. Don't say no when you feel you are right. You have one life, and one body.

4. Being able to do your own taxes makes you a superhero. It's also rather sensible Almost everyone I know who goes to a CPA ends up having to do amendments. No one REALLY understands the tax system so they really do cut you breaks if you goof, so give it a shot.

5. Learning how to cook great food is also a superhero skill. Double points for not spending more than an hour every night in the kitchen. Know the shortcuts to good food and use them. Soups and slow cookers are a busy person's best weapons to battle hunger and also create great leftovers. Even in summer I turn to soup often because it doesn't require an oven. Have a signature dish or two that you know you can make quickly and easily. The older you get the more pot lucks you will attend and be expected to bring a dish.

6. Eventually, it might take longer or shorter depending, you will get along with your siblings. Crazy, I know, but it does happen. And it's a great thing.

7. Don't rush. Don't rush in your car, don't rush your meals, don't rush down the aisle, don't rush into parenthood. Letting things unfold the way they were meant to is easier and less painful. Being quick and rushing are not the same things, remember, lest you confuse my meaning.

8. Enjoy hobbies that are easy to do alone, and hobbies that require you to meet new people. There's not many feelings better than learning something new and sharing it with the world. For my indoor hobbies I craft and play board games, and for outside hobbies I take offbeat fitness or dance classes. Some of the most frustrating and joyous moments of the past few years has been my experiences in taking tap dancing as an adult.

9. Read. Whenever you get the chance. Learn about what is going on in our world. Become an expert at something, anything. It will give you confidence. I feel armed in any situation thanks to my lifelong love of learning and reading.

10. After growing up as an introverted teenager, a loner, I had to opportunity to really learn who I was, unhurried by pressure from my peers. I was a celebrity in the online circles that I ran in, and that was enough. So when I got to college I was more prepared than many. There were no puppy eyed loverboys following me, no fragile friendships easily torn asunder that so many others had. I arrived as the person I was at that time, no apologies. And for the first time in my life, I found people coming to me in waves. At first it was just new friends, and as I got to connect with potential love interests, they too appeared and appeared, never one further than an IM or phone call away. I know that I am an average looking, overweight woman, like many others, but I also know that I am funny, kind, fierce, smart, confident, sensual, crafty, goofy, motherly and many other words. And those are the words that matter to me, not the ones that describe the shell that woman lives in.
Be yourself. Be utterly and apologetically you. Someone WILL love that person. It's cliche, and repeated constantly for a reason. There is nothing better than the feeling of being loved for who you are.

Orange Is the New Black- A Review (Spoilers inside)

I would like to branch out for a spell, for a few paragraphs, for a page and give my thoughts as a geeky, literary white woman, on the new Netflix Original Series, “Orange is the New Black.”


There has been much trash heaped upon it, as there has been much praise. Some of the negative comments were regarding the depiction of prison to be too cliché, or too racially segregated. But former inmates (http://nymag.com/thecut/2013/08/former-prisoners-watch-orange-is-the-new-black.html) pointed out that much of what is shown is true/accurate to what kind of experience they had. Does this surprise anyone? Props to the creators and writers from not shying away from depicting the prevalence of self inflicted segregation in (federal) prison. (I know many people were mad that it wasn’t the harshness of state prison being depicted, but the show is based on a true story and they were trying to stick to Piper Kerman’s account of her time in federal, not state.)

The other end of the negativity spectrum has to do with the Christian right backlash against it. On one hand, this is silly. If you don’t like the depictions, don’t watch it. But on the other I think that many Christians who have cried out against the depiction of Pensatucky as a meth & abortion addicted ignorant southern Christian , have decidedly ignored the quiet presence of Sister Ingalls, the nun who landed in jail for peaceful anti-nuclear protesting. (http://www.webpronews.com/what-people-who-dont-like-orange-is-the-new-black-say-about-it-2013-08)

I tend to think that those who voraciously point out what they don’t like about other people/shows/lifestyles is what they fear the most about their own selves. Myself included. To me this is a small scale version of the current battle between the moderate right and the extreme tea party right.

But: SPOILER ALERT [None of the reviews mentioned that Pensatucky was never religious until she got to jail. It was something she was roped into playing at by those who paid for her lawyer after she killed a nurse at an abortion clinic. I would imagine that Christians would have more of a problem with the way the religious people who manipulated her acted than her own actions at that point. It is unclear in the first season whether she does it to continue getting legal help from the right, (because that would be smart) or whether she starts to believe. Based on her conversation with her lawyer, I think she is a believer. Hard to say, they did make it look as if Piper killed her, which is one of the reasons I kept from reading the book. I already know what happens to Piper and Larry.] END SPOILER ALERT

And lastly, one of the things from my perspective that was so striking is the frightening understanding that THIS COULD BE ME. Not that I have ever run drugs intercontinental with my lesbian lover per see, but I am a young white woman who makes artisanal bath products and has a fiancé. I tend to say the wrong thing often. I have done a few stupid things in my life, and it comes down to luck. Piper had the bad luck to be named by Alex, Pensatucky had the good luck to be supported by the anti-abortion coalition that saw her commit her crime. That is the core of Jenji’s message. We try to distance ourselves as people on the outside, from those on the inside. They are different, they are other. But they aren’t. I imagine making the same mistakes, preaching the same secular humanism and Robert Frost poetry.

Not only did I feel a great deal of empathy for Piper, I was also terrified during the finale because of it. SPOILER ALERT [Piper’s breakdown and subsequent ruthless beating of Pensatucky is something I admit to having fantasized about doing to certain people who push me too hard. It made me terrified that I could actually commit this kind of crime, because the scene exposed the ruthlessness of humans as caged animals, and that should make anyone uncomfortable and sick to their stomach, as it did to me. She was backed in to a corner, betrayed or abandoned by every one she loved. That place is not far away for any of us.] END SPOILER

Every minute of this show I was on the edge of my seat, willing Piper to make a smart decision and then holding my breath to see what the outcome of her choices would be. Good art should give you a physical reaction. It should punch you in the gut, rip your heart out, uplift your soul and send it spiraling down.

Star Trek Khannnnnnnnn!

We just came back from the Las Vegas Star Trek Convention. It was a fun weekend crammed with partying and nerdery. We made some new friends and got to be part of a costume contest and a world record! Not too shabby. Also took a party bus for the first time ever. We also got to meet our cat 7's namesake 7 of 9 aka Jeri Ryan, as well as Avery Brooks and the seemingly overwhelmed good sport Karl Urban.
Below are pictures of us in costume as Kira and Odo from Deep Space 9, from the episode with their first date.
The first date:
Our version of the costumes.
The world record card and a picture of Terry Farrell (Jadzia) helping us break it. Since we were finalists we had a great spot to enjoy it. What a powerful feeling of coming together to be part of it. People from all walks of life brought together over love for one thing.

We definitely didn't take into account the fact the costume contest and record contest would keep us busy from 3 pm to 9 pm and my costumes shoes were not broken in. Had to keep it together on stage while my feet were screaming. We really weren't prepared to get into the finalists because our costumes were not as detailed nor hard to do as many of the others, but I think the judges understood we were trying to capture the spirit of the Deep Space Nine theme. After having been in hundreds of photos I have a new respect for the actors and writers who get up there and manage to function and be funny while their eyes are being light bombed. If we did the costume contest again it would have to be something with comfortable shoes. But as runners up we got some cool mugs, which was nice.

This last one is me and a new friend, Tara, enjoying a beverage with Gary Graham, known to Enterprise watchers as the Vulvan Soval. He was a nice guy, and fun to boot.

To round out our kick ass experience we hung out with Ira Stephen Behr one of my favorite nerdy writers while Josh, Crystal and him enjoyed some cigarettes. Looking forward to next year!