Friday, August 30, 2013


This post is a meditation on turning 30 in less than a week. The big 3-0. An arbitrary number that has come to mean so much as a marker of how people view their lives, and achievements. I have vacillated between being joyous and upset at the rapid feeling passage of time.

10 Things I have Learned in 30 years

1. Most places I go out to (the movies, bars, theaters, restaurants) it's too dark to see grey hairs so why care as much? And makeup: the more you wear, the more you will have to wear. Good moisturizer and less sun is key in my beauty regime. I want my lovers to be hot for me without makeup so when I wear it it is an added bonus. I don't want to be someone who scares people who are used to seeing them with makeup, when I take it off.

2. Floss for goodness's sake. Cavities are expensive to take care of, floss is cheap.
3. You know more about your body than most doctors. Trust that. Fight for it. Don't say no when you feel you are right. You have one life, and one body.

4. Being able to do your own taxes makes you a superhero. It's also rather sensible Almost everyone I know who goes to a CPA ends up having to do amendments. No one REALLY understands the tax system so they really do cut you breaks if you goof, so give it a shot.

5. Learning how to cook great food is also a superhero skill. Double points for not spending more than an hour every night in the kitchen. Know the shortcuts to good food and use them. Soups and slow cookers are a busy person's best weapons to battle hunger and also create great leftovers. Even in summer I turn to soup often because it doesn't require an oven. Have a signature dish or two that you know you can make quickly and easily. The older you get the more pot lucks you will attend and be expected to bring a dish.

6. Eventually, it might take longer or shorter depending, you will get along with your siblings. Crazy, I know, but it does happen. And it's a great thing.

7. Don't rush. Don't rush in your car, don't rush your meals, don't rush down the aisle, don't rush into parenthood. Letting things unfold the way they were meant to is easier and less painful. Being quick and rushing are not the same things, remember, lest you confuse my meaning.

8. Enjoy hobbies that are easy to do alone, and hobbies that require you to meet new people. There's not many feelings better than learning something new and sharing it with the world. For my indoor hobbies I craft and play board games, and for outside hobbies I take offbeat fitness or dance classes. Some of the most frustrating and joyous moments of the past few years has been my experiences in taking tap dancing as an adult.

9. Read. Whenever you get the chance. Learn about what is going on in our world. Become an expert at something, anything. It will give you confidence. I feel armed in any situation thanks to my lifelong love of learning and reading.

10. After growing up as an introverted teenager, a loner, I had to opportunity to really learn who I was, unhurried by pressure from my peers. I was a celebrity in the online circles that I ran in, and that was enough. So when I got to college I was more prepared than many. There were no puppy eyed loverboys following me, no fragile friendships easily torn asunder that so many others had. I arrived as the person I was at that time, no apologies. And for the first time in my life, I found people coming to me in waves. At first it was just new friends, and as I got to connect with potential love interests, they too appeared and appeared, never one further than an IM or phone call away. I know that I am an average looking, overweight woman, like many others, but I also know that I am funny, kind, fierce, smart, confident, sensual, crafty, goofy, motherly and many other words. And those are the words that matter to me, not the ones that describe the shell that woman lives in.
Be yourself. Be utterly and apologetically you. Someone WILL love that person. It's cliche, and repeated constantly for a reason. There is nothing better than the feeling of being loved for who you are.

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