Wednesday, October 8, 2014

My Body is Not Your Body

Two post day! I am getting wild up in here! Or I just have a lot to say and my passion is gearing it towards writing rather than anything else at the moment. Not only have I achieved a new peace by letting go of some of my notorious hustle and bustle (think Monica Geller on speed), I have also taken a great personal leap into the world of very visible tattoos.

I was advised against this by someone in my life who has some very painfully outdated ideas on human bodies, and personal body relationships which led to some very sad and confused years that has taken many friends, many kind and supportive lovers and much therapy to get over. I am happy to say that other than some grumblings about IBS, Hypothyroidism and TMJ I have a great love for the shapes of my body, bumps, lumps, weird hairs, giant boobs, all of it.

I am happy that I listened to myself in taking this step. Because my body is a work of art. It is opening my eyes. Every piece of food or drink that passes my lips, every lotion I use, every haircut I get, every workout and yes, every tattoo is an aspect of 'my art'.

I wear my tattoos proudly because they are all a part of the stories I love and stories that have become woven into my own. None more than this latest addition. I carry with me always the spirit of Harry, Katniss, Elsa, Anna, Buffy, Frodo, The Newsies, and Arthur Dent. I carry my heroes and heroines who survived the loss of parents, loved ones, lived through the hardest adventures and never gave up. I am never alone because they are all here with me. And now I am proudly sharing them even more openly with the world. Because maybe, perhaps my story will help strengthen others.

I am standing up for myself, what I want and how I want to be treated. I am giving myself a channel to the world that I didn't have before as someone so introverted. Even in the past week my normally painful interactions with strangers in elevators and stores have been imbued with a magic, a power, that this new ink gives me.

To love yourself is the greatest power and magic of all.

Love, The Geeky Garlic Girl

Finding Peace in a Busy World

2014 is not over yet but I feel the need to reflect on it now. It has been some time since I last posted. Mostly due to scheduling/health/general malaise, but I feel I am emerging from this state for numerous reasons. 2014 I deemed to be the year of living positively. Right off the bat that fell apart. It took me until recently to really realize why.

When you schedule yourself every moment with work, hobbies, exercise, cooking, cleaning, etc. YOU can get lost in the shuffle of THINGS. You stop noticing the small beautiful moments in life. You stop SEEING.

I barreled through the year until we finally went on our honeymoon in September, where my habits of excessive planning turned us into burnt out grumps. And I took it to heart. Which isn't to say it wasn't the most magical experience on earth. (Harry Potter land! Dinner in Cinderella's castle!)

But it could have been better if I had planned less and looked forward to living in the moments. So with the dip in my health as a result of burnout I took extreme measures. I have skipped the exercise classes, stopped planning so many meals in advance, stopped booking my weeknights and weekends to the top and just left it free.

In doing so I have found longer and longer respites for my sanity. Less depression, less anxiety and more appreciation for my cats, my husband, my friends and my hobbies. I have even found myself smiling more at myself in the mirror than just rushing through my morning and evening routines because my attention is not on 10 other tasks that need to be done that day.

It's important to remind ourselves every now and then, in a world of Pinterest, the latest news scandals, the latest in planet doom and gloom, the body revolution or devolution, and all the rest, is that we have a choice whether we want to participate, it isn't mandatory. And that my friends creates peace.